


Nicotine

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Cheating, Kissing, Love, Lust, Multi, idk man, kinda angsty, tobacco
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2016-10-28
Packaged: 2018-08-27 14:44:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8405683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: I watch the smoke curl off of the end of my cigarette and want to punch myself in the face for how hipster it feels. The smoke just looks so goddamn perfect against the grey clouds that have been floating in the sky all day long. And then there’s the smoke from Levi’s, which is a twin trail of smoke. It gives me that annoying warm fuzzy feeling inside, which is fucking dangerous when it comes to Levi Ackerman.





	

 

A saturday is a beautiful sort of treasured thing. It’s the first day of being able to wake up late after a whole five day week of waking up at six every single goddamn morning. It’s a day with a kind of lazy sort of screen on it, an overcast of unfocus that lets time slip by like smoke from my lips on a good day and the nicotine rush that follows after.

 

“Do you think he’s cheating on me?” Armin asks, his voice hesitant and a bit timid. He’s talking about Erwin, his boyfriend. I don’t even have to ask to know that he’s been thinking that for awhile. The arm slung around my shoulders tightens the slightest bit. Probably because I know for a fact that Erwin wouldn’t cheat unless he was drunk out of his mind, which he was last night. 

 

“Eh. He’s a fucking prick, so maybe. I don’t think so, though,” I replied, feeling the guilt coil in my chest. My legs swung back and forth in the empty space underneath them. Levi’s arm relaxed a little bit, but was still tense. The water underneath the bridge we’re sitting on, I’ve decided, is close enough that I can push Levi or Mikasa in a few minutes if I feel like it. 

 

I watch the smoke curl off of the end of my cigarette and want to punch myself in the face for how hipster it feels. The smoke just looks so goddamn perfect against the grey clouds that have been floating in the sky all day long. And then there’s the smoke from Levi’s, which is a twin trail of smoke. It gives me that annoying warm fuzzy feeling inside, which is fucking dangerous when it comes to Levi Ackerman.

 

Armin nods, his blue eyes big and upset. I don’t want to be the one to break it to him that Erwin is a fucking asshole who decided to date Armin even though he was very obviously in love with Levi and hurting about it. That whole shitshow is fucked, and I really don’t want anything to do with it. But Armin’s my friend, so what can I do?

 

I look at Levi, who’s arm finally relaxed. He knows exactly what’s going on with this whole mess. He stares back into my face, managing to almost look at down at me while looking up at me. It’s really just his resting face, though, so I don’t want to punch him the same way I did the day that I met him and he acted like a total fuckface.

 

He still acts like a total fuckface, if I’m being honest, but I ended up dating him somehow so I guess I like this fuckface. 

 

Levi brings his cigarette to his lips again as Mikasa starts telling Armin something about how he’s strong enough to go without Erwin even if Erwin was cheating on him. Hange joins in, with soem weird statistic that I’m not even paying attention to. Levi takes in another long draw and waits a little bit before puffing the smoke out of his mouth lazily. He stares at me the whole time, the fucker. He knows that he looks hot when he smokes.

 

And of course the smoke just kind of perfectly leaves his mouth in a way that draws attention to his lips, and makes it look almost like he’s daring me to do something. I bite my lip a little bit, and decide  _ fuck it  _ ‘cause he’s my boyfriend and I can do whatever the fuck I want. 

 

Before I can do anything though, his arms jerks me closer and his hair brushes my face as his lips take mine. He always did like making the first move, I guess. I don’t hesitate to kiss back, just making sure to hold my cigarette away from both of our bodies. There’s an unfortunate story where I ended up burning myself in the middle of Levi unzipping my jeans, and giving him a bruise from my knee colliding with his jaw  _ hard.  _

 

I guess cigarette and blowjobs don’t always go together the best. Then again, the only kind of rush better than the one I get from taking a long, deep inhale of the deadly chemicals into my lungs is the feeling of Levi completely fucking taking control of me. It’s those times when He gets that look in his eyes when he grips my hand and I’m being pulled into some random room at a party and we’re both fucking hammered and-

 

Ahem. Back to the present. 

 

His lips are always controlling, always strong and certain no matter how hard the tears are coming down when he’s really fucking high and more open than any time he’s in his right mind. His other hand comes up to hold my face, his cigarette being strategically held away from my face. That’s always what it’s like with Levi, it’s intoxicating and really fucking good, but you’re almost always just centimeters away from being possibly burned. It’s not walking on eggshells, it’s knowing that if you stay up all night you’re going to bang and probably throw things at each other minutes later when you fight over nothing.

 

I bite down on his lip as I hear Jean groan. “Fucking hell they’re going at it again. Get a goddamn room, you two I swear.” I moan in an overdone way into Levi’s mouth, just to piss off Jean and make him more uncomfortable. He’s the one sitting on the other side of me, so he I can see him throw up his hands in frustration. “Really? Are you even being fucking serious right now, Eren?!”

 

The only reason that I break away from Levi’s lips is to say, “You’re one to fucking talk, you and Marco are like PDA kings, horseface.” I flip him off as I reconnect Levi’s lips and mine. The arm around my shoulder turns a bit into a wandering mood, and slides down to rest on my ass without caring about the people nearby.

 

“Ooo! Should I add this to the album of Levi and Eren PDA?!” Hange asked excitedly, already pulling out her phone to snap a picture. I kinda hate her a little in that moment, because Levi pulls away from me with a frown decorating his annoyingly perfect face. His frown is showing his teeth, which I know for a fact are only that white because he uses that whitening stuff. Otherwise they’d be tinged yellow. He doesn’t really smoke that much, and he brushes his teeth five times a day or something stupid like that. 

“Hange, you’re a motherfucking creep.” His voice is dry and a bit scratchy because he’s been smoking today, Some days he gets up and eats healthy and runs and does something fucking incredible like design a fucking plane or something. Today was the opposite of that kind of day, he might have skipped out on breakfast and the most running he did was when we raced halfheartedly to the middle of this bridge. 

 

“You love me.” There are like cars and stuff going across the bridge, so I don’t know how legal it is to just be sitting on the edge like this. Still, I can just jump off if a police car drives up. The water looks way close, and I doubt I’d have any lasting damage other than Levi smacking me over the head for being a dumbass.

 

“Doesn’t change the fact that you’re a creep.” When I first started dating Levi, I thought maybe his banter with Hange was flirting or something along those lines. I’m fairly certain it’s not nowadays, as Hange has expressed her preference to girls. Levi just has a kind of reluctant way of showing his friends that he appreciates them. He’s really just reluctant at showing any kind of emotional attachment or anything. 

 

He still only says he loves me when he’s drunk out of his mind and I can barely hear him over pounding music at a party. We’re a work in progress, I swear. Someday, someday he’ll tell me he loves me in the morning and we’ll both have quit smoking and living the way we are now. We’ll live in an apartment in the city together or something, and He’ll have graduated college and I’ll be almost done and - and I’m daydreaming again. It’s a dangerous thing, to have high expectations of Levi.

 

“So you do love me?! Awe! Levi can be sweet, guys I’m so proud of him!” Hange gushes like a soccer mom watching her son do mediocre. Completely over the top and annoying and echoing the white suburbia that said soccer mom probably belongs to. Levi just frowns more, his eyebrows furrowing and his eyes pretending to be cold and pissed off. He flips Hange off, and she only laughs at him. 

 

“Hey Levi?” I ask him, successfully turning his attention back to me. What can I say? When it comes to my boyfriend, I’m a bit of an attention whore. Not a bit, really a lot. I like having his eyes on me and his hand is still resting on my ass and I really don’t mind at all. His eyes have some leftover cold left from dealing with Hange, but they’re warmed up when directed at me. I’ve noticed that he does that, and it warms me up more than his cold hands ever do.

 

Well.

 

Maybe.

 

“Yeah?” his voice is still kind of lazy, though he has this habit of having perfect diction even when he’s high and going crazy. He really likes speaking articulately, and he enjoys using big words that no one else knows or can even begin to understand. He can just act really fucking hipster sometimes, but I love him anyway. I kind of hate it, because he’s a fucking asshole and the exact guy that my mother would have warned me about hanging around had she given a damn about me and not left when I was three. But I love him. 

I try to phrase my question carefully, because I don’t want to be pushed off the bridge or something. I want to be the pusher, not the pushee. “Do you think that the water is close enough that we could jump?” I know that it would be hella cold if we did jump, because I made the mistake of wearing a tank top today and I’m freezing my ass off. Levi is too, though, so at least we’re in the same boat.

 

He cocks his head to the side. Hange is right next to him, and she’s looking at him expectantly. If he pushes me off I swear to god I will end him. Our faces are still close and bodies more or less intertwined, so he would fall with me if he had the balls to push me. Instead he looks over to Hange, who’s still looking at him for the answer to my question. “Let’s find out,” he replies, and in a flash Hange is falling off the bridge, screaming.

 

_ Splash.  _

 

Hange surfaces, and flips Levi off. “ _ You  _ fucker!” She shouts. He just laughs his ass off, head resting on my shoulder and eyes bright with mirth. 

 

“Are we jumping?” Armin asks, and Mikasa looks to me. I shrug. I’m already hella cold, so what does it matter if we do? My cigarette has almost burnt itself out anyway. We aren’t wearing very much clothing that can’t get wet, so I guess Jean will have to deal with us being wet in his car.

 

“Oh  _ hell  _ n-” Jean starts to say, probably thinking about his precious car, but I interrupted him. 

 

“Why the fuck not?” I reply, and Levi looks at me, and stands up on the railing of the bridge. I do too, and take off my boots because I’m not getting them in the river, no fucking way. He takes off his converse, and then his beanie. We look to each other, and I reach out my hand. His slowly outstretches too, but before I can process it his hand has snaked around and suddenly I’m falling. “Fuck you!” I yell as I fall, the last thing I see before I go underwater being Levi’s laugh. 

 

Seconds later there’s a plume of bubbles in the water next to me, and I see that Levi is here. I wait a little while before surfacing, because then I get to see all the other plumes of bubbles as my friends dive and jump in after us. I count one, two, three and Hange and Levi are already down, so one of us isn’t diving? I surface when Levi tugs me up, probably thinking I can’t swim or something. When I surface, I see that I didn’t count wrong, there is one of us that didn’t jump.

 

Marco jumped, Mikasa jumped, Hange was already here, Levi jumped, hell even Armin jumped, but the one of us who is still shaking in his boots on the bridge is none other than Jean. “You pussy!” I yell. “Just fucking jump already!” Jean’s face is contorted, and he flips me off looking extremely unhappy with how everything was playing out.

 

“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of heights?!” Hange shouted up, having recovered from the temporary pissed offness at Levi. She looked now to be having a good time, despite how goddamn cold it was and she was wearing a crop top. Jean moves his finger to be flipping her off too, and she laughs. “You are?! Oh my my my, Jean. I must say I didn’t expect this of you.”

 

“Fuck off!” He yells back, shaking a little bit. 

 

Marco starts yelling up to him. “C’mon Jean, it’s fine! The water’s nice! We all made it down here safely! I promise it’ll be okay!”

 

“Fuck no!”

 

They continue arguing, Marco never losing his cool. Meanwhile Levi and I are treading water next to each other. “You’re fucking crazy, y’know,” he murmurs quietly to me. I turn to face him, effectively ignoring the conflict in front of me. Levi’s eyes are dilated, and his hand is gripping my wrist. The water is fucking cold and so is he, but I don’t mind. 

 

“I am?” I ask, not having really thought of it. Of course I know that I’m impulsive, and hyperactive, and hard to deal with. Not to mention a complete idiot sometimes, despite me trying to copy Levi’s cool and calm demeanour I always end up making a fool of myself or acting way more rashly than he would. I think the only time I’ve seen Levi do something without thinking about it first is when I picked a fight with some guys way stronger than me and I needed backup. He just charged in blindly.

 

He snorted at my question. “Fuck yeah, brat. You’re overflowing with crazy. So much that it rubs off on other people too.” Huh. I cock my head at that. I mean, I know that I  can act without thinking, but that doesn’t mean I influence other people to do so as well, right? Right. “It … rubs off on me. You make me crazy.” Oh. Well. That was different. 

 

Maybe it was the nicotine, or maybe it was the cold of the water, but Levi suddenly seemed less cold. Not temperature wise, because in that way he was a goddamn icecube straight from the arctic. But mood wise, he seemed different. He was the same man on the bridge, the one who would turn to me and hold me and put his arm around the my shoulders with no prompting.

 

“You’re better than nicotine, y’know?” Levi continues, not seeming to care that much about his words tone wise, but his eyes are searching. Is it getting too cheesy to say that whatever he looks like he’s searching for, I hope that he finds it right here inside my eyes? After a second or two of me not responding, he ducks his head. “... nevermind.”

 

I get it though. I get it. But the words aren’t coming out. 

 

_ Splash.  _

 

“Looks like Jean decided to come down after all,” Levi commented, his voice thin and untrustworthy. I slap his arm a little bit to get his attention, but he’s just staring past me at the place where Jean broke through the water and caused all the commotion and cheering going on behind us. I didn’t care. 

 

“Hey,” I say, and he finally turns his head to look me in the eye again. I give him a little smile, and don’t hide anything in my face. “I know what you mean. You’re better than nicotine.” He smiles a little, and laughs a short, almost barkish thing. He kisses me then, his lips slippery and wet and I wrap my arms around him, and we only break apart when we need air. 

 

“I’m still not giving nicotine up though.” He added.

  
“Fuck no.” I agreed.


End file.
